fannishminded:

benedictosaurus:

#oh god ok i’m going to tag my feelings here #can you imagine how many times John replayed the scene in his head of the last face to face conversation with Sherlock #and how he can’t believe he called him a machine #because he had no idea what was going to happen #and he realized that he just sounded like everyone else around Sherlock #everyone calling him a freak and psycho #and he completely regrets saying that because Sherlock was his best friend #and just #oh god my feelings

John has all the guilt, and all the pain… and none of the resolution of knowing WHY Sherlock jumped… Besides the horrible last time they talked face to face… and the terrible horror that whispers that he pushed his best friend at the worst possible time- and that Sherlock now haunts his dreams as a good man… that he has killed.